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It’s finally here!

Baked some ginger cookies.

Last night my boyfriend said I cry a lot
And not in a nice or concerned way, either
His tone was exasperated and fed-up
He wouldn’t have stuck around
If he didn’t have a bunch of relatives at his place
He’s left me crying before
And I know that it’s going to happen again
And I’m okay with that

What I’m not okay with is silence
Sometimes I want to talk
I need him to talk to me
And not about work, news or our daily lives
I want to talk about us; I need to
To say that we make each other happy and that’s that
Is an injustice to our relationship
And the way that I feel about him
There is nothing simple about a relationship
When it’s so much more than two people dating

He is my boyfriend, yes
And, yes, I love him
But he is also my friend
He is the one who promised to be there for me
And not in the bullshit implicit way
But the kind of promise where he looked me in the eyes
All soulful and shit and me feel like
Ryan Gosling just made a promise (or vow. Ha.)

I need so much more from him than he can give
Sometimes I need a man, and I am still dating a boy
I cry because sometimes it’s lonelier being with him
Than being alone, especially when he pushes me away
And to feel alone when you’re with someone you care about 
Is the worst kind of loneliness
That’s the stuff that drives people mental
All I want is to see him and I want him to show me
That our relationship is still more than just a comfort thing

But you know what?
Why the hell isn’t it okay to feel that deeply?
When did it become healthy to be dead inside?
To keep it all bottled up?
That kind of silence is what ends years’ worth of relationships
It’s what drags people further and further away
And I’m not interested in wasting my love on that type of bullshit

So I’m not going to apologize for my tears
You don’t just get something as deep and intense as this for free
You either take it all and embrace it or you get nothing
What I see when he pushes me away is a cop out
And that fucking hurts because I think we’re worth talking about
I’m willing to put in the work to better our relationship
But right now, it’s like trying to hug someone using just one arm

But it’s okay; I’m not mad at him
I’m a phoenix, born again after every deep hurt
I don’t break so easily
So make me cry again, I dare you
Because my tears are magical motherfuckers
But I won’t be sharing them anymore
Not like this
I’m emotionally tapped out

*Sorry if this showed up on your dash.


Flower walls

I can’t be the only one whose eyelids swell up to the thickness of these cucumber slices after a cry, right?

Side note: Please come eat ice cream and watch TV with me hellohalfpint& adsomnium


I am a feminist because
I don’t think this video could be much more relevant.

(Source: vodkaand-cigarettes, via lacigreen)

Strawberry rhubarb pie with coffee ice cream.

The sky reflected off the cube at Astor

Baked some banana bread last night. Yah, I know you want to marry me now.

He loves peanut butter and cinnamon (it’s organic, unsalted and unsweetened pb)

Rachel said it looks cool. rachelww2010

Mosaic tables

This view never bores me.

(Source: )

The prettiest olive oil that has graced my kitchen pantry.